Learn How to Motivate People to Change
A lot of adages tell us that we cannot make people change. An old dog is unable to learn new tricks, says one; a zebra cannot change its stripes, says another. But one adage does go, “There is nothing more permanent than change.” How can you overcome the fact that you can still change no matter how old you are?
Does this mean that you can find ways for people to mend their ways? Fortunately, there is certainly hope for you to be able to change people and motivate these people to do better. Here are a few tips that you can take into account when you would like to take on the monumental task of motivating someone to change. -
An adage goes, “Acceptance comes before change,” and this is absolutely true regardless of the occasion or thing you’d like to change.. You cannot just go smashing and hurtling and driving headlong into a person’s life, and behave as the groundbreaking whirlwind which will enact change. Change must go slowly, and if it is going too fast, you could expect reversion to occur quickly as well. When you make friends with others, you must accept his faults. Make sure that you set the stage for that person to change because he or she wants to, not because you demanded it and that person simply feels it to be an obligation.
- Try some dolphin training. What do trainers perform to motivate animals to accomplish tricks? They reward animals for a job properly done and ignore animals if they do some thing wrong. This is proven to work with people as well. You know the happiness when you get that increase after many years of working very hard, that medal after all your effort in school, that child after all your hours in painful labor. But you also know how painful it is to be disregarded and shown indifference.
When you’re pleased with someone’s actions, reward that person with a smile, a compliment, even a treat at a nearby ice cream parlor, if you’re so inclined. But when that same person behaves badly and you want that person to change, stay away from a confrontation: ignore the person instead, and let that person vent till the dust settles and he or she feels that you’re ignoring him or her. Repeat til you have the results you want.
- Remain calm. Motivating someone to change does not happen overnight. If you want a person to change quickly, you are treading into uncertain waters. And if that person does change quickly, you are bound to be heartbroken on two fronts: first, that person might easily be changed and swayed to do anything, and you are stuck with a pushover; and 2nd, that person can quickly return to old times and hurt you again. You have to muster up a lot of bravery and patience to have to deal with such people.
- Be gentle. You may be tempted to get upset at a friend for hurting you over and over, and you’ll be tempted to shout and throw a tantrum. You will only add fire to a flame, and you can risk getting yourself hurt without having any significant changes occurring. Try talking calmly to your friend, and then leave it at that.
- Never be scared to walk away. Sometimes, leaving a person to find himself or herself could be a powerful way to motivate a person actually to change for the better.